Things Teens Want Their Parents to Know

#teenspeak

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Dear parents, we want you to know that…

* Times have changed: You keep telling us about what you did when you were our age, but everything is so different now. We just can’t relate to that. So, please don’t expect us to behave the way you did at our age. We have to move with the times.

* We need help to manage the stress and pressures in our lives, even if we show that we are very independent and capable. Do check in on us from time to time.

* Give us space to be ourselves. We do need help sometimes but that does not mean that we need constant monitoring.

* Trust us and give us few responsibilities. We might fail at times, but we will try real hard to stand up to your expectations.

*  Even “good” kids act out every once in awhile. That does not mean that we have turned “bad” now.

* We need to unwind. Please allow us some personal time to do whatever we wish to, or to ‘do nothing’ if that’s how we unwind.

* We want you, our parents, to be proud of us and accept us for who we are. Please don’t compare us to others.

* We hate to see you fight. It shakes our faith and scares us a lot.

* We care about what you think of us. Even if our peers influence us, what you think of us, matter a great deal to us. Sometimes, even more than our friends (though we may not show this to you).

* Please understand that the internet plays an important and positive role in our lives. It’s not always a bad influence.

* We will make mistakes – but you can guide us through this.

* It’s hard to fit in with people and that’s why we act out sometimes.

* We have a lot going on at school, sometimes more than you realise.

* Sometimes we can’t express our feelings when we are hurt or upset, and that’s why we find ways to release the anxiety (sometimes in ways that you do not approve).

* We love you. We may pull away so that we can establish our own identity, but that doesn’t mean that we dont love you.

(This is a #teenspeak section. For mentoring enquires, contact ingrouphelp@gmail.com/ sequelsingapore@gmail.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Let Me Remain an Introvert!

We are being told that the most important requirement of today’s world is the ability to talk well, and the ability to get along with people, yes, all the people, and at all times! The world, it seems doesn’t like shy, quiet people anymore.

Parents want their children to be smart and confident, teachers want the students to speak up, and companies are looking (or so they tell us) to hire extroverted people, mostly. And that’s a pity really because half the world is made up of introverts. And, that doesn’t mean that they are not brilliant, creative, or empathetic. It also doesn’t mean that they are not productive. Then, why can’t introverts be allowed to remain introverts? Why is there pressure to change their inherent nature, and make them unhappy and insecure in the process?

The Introvert. (Source: Susan Cain)
The Introvert. (Source: Susan Cain)

As far as I am concerned, I am happy to be a listener. I enjoy listening to others, and I am shy. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be an introvert, exactly like it’s okay to be an extrovert.

Dear parents, educators, populars, and the rest, please know that forcing people to be what they are not is stressful. Teasing them or ridiculing them when they feel shy or scared is akin to bullying, and making introverts feel less worthy, is just plain mean.

Allow everyone to be. No one is better. Not the extrovert. Not the introvert. But they all belong here in this world. And that’s the beauty of it.

Read an introvert’s stressful experience of  here

To the Man Who Would Love a Fatherless Daughter

#MyVoice #youthspeak #love


Every little girl’s first love is her father. He is the one who takes her on her first date, dances with her in the living room, and holds her hand when she is afraid. A father’s love for his little girl is something that is hard to beat. But not all girls get to experience such love for very long. I didn’t.

Loving a girl without a father is a task. It is not the easiest thing to do. It may seem exhausting. She will crave love in the most innocent of forms. Because she does not have that love from a man in her life. She will look to you for that love. Love her fully and without question.

She will miss him, at times so deeply that her whole body will ache. Hold her tightly and let her cry when this happens. She will appreciate the silence you offer.
She is slow to speak of him in serious conversation, but when she finally opens up to you, soak in all that she has to share with you and appreciate the rareness of her honesty. She will speak of the time he coached her elementary school basketball team, or the time he jumped the giant waves with her in the ocean, and how he never let her go. She will say so much in such few words, so please listen closely.

She will be guarded and slow to trust you. Take the time to know her every ache and every joy, and never use them against her. When she trusts you fully, it will be worth it. Do not make her regret it.

She has an independent spirit because she has to. Being raised by her own motivation and determination, she has learned to fend for herself in the real world. Step back occasionally and let her be. This is when she will shine the brightest.

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Contributed by Tanya Dutta Gupta